Be The Change (A Poem for Parents of Teens)

When your child grows up before your eyes, And all of a sudden it’s a huge surprise

to hear the dilemmas in your child’s day to day; peer pressure, drugs, sex, hormones here to stay.

Drama at school, in the home, on the net, emotional roller coaster not 16 yrs yet!

Your head begins spinning like a merry go round, one minute they’re up – the next second they’re down.

They want your advice, then tell you it’s dumb, say Thank-you for caring, now get lost we’re done.

One minute independent, next second back to kid – one minute your friends, then wonder what you did?

So, when you’re ready to scream and pull your hair out - Try tapping instead and tune into your doubt.

Tap on the frustrations of having a teen, and soon you will shift from the anger you’ve seen.

Tap on your own stuff, your reactions and ire, your own stress levels only fuel the fire.

Then tap on ‘not taking it personally’ cause it’s not about you, it’s not about me.

Tap on the different perceptions between, the communication of an adult and teen.

And when you feel calm and serene once more and your teen comes barrelling through the door

Let them know you are here and will listen and Care, don’t mind the alien looks or the stares.

They may think you’ve lost it for a minute or two, but so what; hey, they are listening to you!

They’re your child and they will hear what you say, even if it doesn’t seem like it today.

Your words are more powerful than you realize, so tell them you love them without compromise!

Be the person you want your teen to be, be the change you wish to see!

Communication - Father and his Teenage Daughter

Teen angst, selfish behaviour, cell phones, facebook, etc...enough to drive a parent crazy. Throw in the mix a Father who is trying to hang on to his ‘little’ girl, the one he used to carry on his shoulders, chase through the grocery store isles (laughing; as Mom and other observers shook their heads), the little girl he read to every night, went fishing with, baked cakes with, and cooked lobsters with. *sigh* He has to try to understand why she takes so long to straighten her hair (why does she do that he asks me) he has to understand why she sends a trillion text messages a month (ok a bit of an exaggeration) he tries to understand the importance and urgency in her voice when she talks about her friends (you know that voice), he tries not to totally lose it when she rolls her eyes and say’s ‘Oh WOW Dad' or ‘That’s not fair’ ‘I hate my life’  or ‘I’m the only one not allowed to do that’. He’s really learning how not to feed into her behaviour! He’s learning the art of negotiation; and is realizing it’s good to negotiate with his teen on certain things. He’s understands that if you offer a choice rather than a demand, it works! He’s learning the skill of communicating with his teen and realizes manipulation is not always on the forefront of his daughters mind. He’s getting that in her world, in her perception; these things (cell phones, skinny jeans, friends, facebook) really are important and he’s learning mutual respect with his teenager. An awful lot of tapping helps too! J

Even though I’m about to lose it because my teen is driving me crazy, I love and accept myself

Even though I’m pulling my hair out at her behaviour, I love and accept myself.

Even though I'm begining to feed into her behaviour, I choose not too!

Even though I let her get under my skin, I don't have to and I accept myself completely.

Even though she drives me crazy today, l know this too shall pass and I love myself completely.

Click here to visit Jayne's website

Suicide

A father sobs on CNN while talking about his 11yr old who was repeatedly bullied and ended up taking  his own life – Tyler Clementi, a Rutgers University freshman felt so invaded he jumped off a bridge. Three students reportedly hanged themselves in September -- a 13-year-old student in California, a 15-year-old student in Indiana and a 19-year-old student in Rhode Island. Two teens held hands as they jumped off a bridge in Glasgow Scotland and two girls in Orangeville Ontario were found dead, it’s believed they purposely overdosed on prescription pills.      WTF 

How do we help, what can we do, how can we shout it loud enough that ``IT WILL GET BETTER`` sooner or later, “THIS TOO SHALL PASS”...

 I am writing this to help those who feel that life is just so completely f**ked up that they would rather die, for those who feel unloved and alone, for those who have stopped feeling anything and are experiencing nothingness, hopelessness and numbness...

This is for you...

 Remember - SUICIDE IS A PERMANENT SOLUTION TO A TEMPORARY PROBLEM.

Please keep reading and try to follow the instructions found  here, then if you can, pick up the phone and call someone (there are two numbers below for you) after all, you have nothing to lose...right?

Remember - IT WILL GET BETTER, I know it doesn’t seem like a reality right now, but the universe keeps flowing and there is no stopping the forward motion of time; Another sun will set - another moon will rise - another day will come and all you are expected to do is put one foot in front of the other...let time flow, know that whatever has happened or is happening will eventually pass! No matter what the circumstance, time moves us forward; when we are at a low it’s like a never ending movie on slow motion.

Try this tapping phrase on the feeling that it can’t get any worse and it won’t get better (hopeless feeling) while tapping the sequence of points found here;

 Even though I feel like it’s hopeless, I’m here today. Even though I feel as though this will never get better, I’m here in this moment. Even though it all feels hopeless, I’m here; tap all points stating reminder phrase of “this hopeless feeling” After a few rounds try this; Even though I feel hopeless, I’m OK right now. Even though I feel as though it will never get better, I’m letting time flow, Even though it feels hopeless, today is another day and I’m putting one foot in front of the other. Reminder phrase; “Just for today I’m OK and I let time flow”

Remember - YOU ARE LOVED and even though you may feel like you aren’t. Rest assured YOU ARE! There are so many people offering unconditional Love and Light to YOU, all you have to do is receive it with an open heart. I’m sure it sounds stupid but it’s true, so when you are feeling at your lowest of lows, please know that YOU ARE LOVED!

Try this tapping phrase on feeling unloved - while tapping the sequence of points found here;

 Even though I feel unloved, I’m here today. Even though I feel as though no-one loves me and I’m alone, today I’m here. Even though I feel unloved, here I am; tap all points stating reminder phrase of “feeling unloved” After a few rounds try this; Even though I feel unloved, I’m OK right now. Even though I feel as though no-one loves me, maybe someone somewhere does, Even though I feel like no one loves me, I know I’m lovable and deserve to be loved. Reminder phrase; “I’m deserving of Love and someone Loves Me”

When things are so unbearable and life is crashing down upon you, please reach out.. don’t be afraid, don’t be too proud, don’t be ashamed.

Remember - suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem…

I send you Love from my Heart to yours.

 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)

1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)

Tapping for Grief over the Loss of a Loved One

When we lose someone we love we experience grief. Our bodies go into survival mode including all kinds of emotional upheaval. The waves of grief can be insurmountable with the pain that flows in every breath. If you have ever lost a loved one, you know what I am writing about.

If you use energy tapping on your grief you no way negate the fact that you are grieving, you do not take away the essential physiological and emotional process that your mind-body-soul has to go through. No, nothing can take that away it’s a part of the human condition. Energy tapping for grief can simply help you breathe, it can help you get out of bed in the morning and it can help you eat and take care of your health. It can help to lessen that deep rooted pain of loss so you can function and learn to live day to day. It can help you move through the necessary process a little easier. The pain of losing a loved one never seems to go away completely but somehow you learn to live with it. Your body-mind-soul will gain a level of acceptance and with time your sadness and anguish will seem to fly away on an angel’s wing. I offer you Love, Healing Energy and Comfort in Your Time of Grief...

Some tapping phrases for grief;

For Sadness and Inner Pain;

Even though I’m so sad at losing my loved one and I can’t seem to cope, I’m OK right now in this moment.

Even though this inner pain is too much to handle, I’m OK in the present moment.

For Anger;

Even though I’m angry because I’ve lost someone I love, I’m OK or I'm a great kid or for an adult I love and accept myself...

For a list of tapping points and how to learn a short version of energy tapping go here

SNAP Burlington - Reducing Back to School Stress!

SNAP Burlington - Reducing Back to School Stress!

Anger, frustration, fear, anxiety – they all go together don’t they?

Lets analyze this for a moment; Those who are angry are also frustrated (at their situation). They are fearful of what they are capable of when in an angry state; yet anxious when the thought of getting to the root cause arises;

Nine times out of ten when a child is angry there is a legitimate reason for it. A child just wants to be a child, sometimes they are caught in a web of adult ‘crap’ (for lack of a better word), and sometimes life circumstances throw them a nasty curveball called trauma or grief. Then there’s things like bullying, peer pressure (fear). Or maybe they just are angry at simple things like homework (frustration) or the upcoming school speech (anxiety).

 Energy tapping is a tool of empowerment, when used as a preventative tool it can help alleviate outbursts of anger-frustration-fear-anxiety. It can get to the core issue faster than any other therapy that I know of, and best of all it produces profound belief changes that help an individual (child or adult) move forward when they feel stuck because of anger - frustration - fear - anxiety!  Onward and Upward I say!

Check out the easy tapping statements below then go here for a chart on the tapping points

Easy tapping statements for anger - frustration - fear - anxiety (child);

“Even though I feel myself getting angry (frustrated - scared- anxious) I'm an awesome kid!”

“Even though I’m really angry (frustrated - scared- anxious) at (my Mom/the bully/teacher etc..) I know I’m a great kid!

Or

Even though I hate doing homework and it makes me sooo angry (frustrated - scared- anxious)  I’m an awesome kid!

Check out the new Children's healing book Tapping Away the Blues 

Cadbury* Dairy Milk* Fair Trade Contest | Trade Details

Cadbury* Dairy Milk* Fair Trade Contest Trade Details

What is a FUNK?

Let’s talk about a ‘funk’ – in my world a ‘funk’ is a bad day! It may start out like this; you wake up in the morning get out of bed, stub your toe – bang your knee on that damn corner of the bed (yet again) and slip on your partner’s sock that was left on the floor, you hear the kids yelling and so on…what do you do?

Get in the shower (sit on the bed) take a few minutes and Tap: ‘Even though my day has started in a funk, I love and accept myself completely! Even though I’ve already stubbed my toe, banged my knee, slipped and hear the kids yelling I accept me and love me unconditionally. Even though my day has started in a funk I am going to have an amazing day full of possibilities!’ Tap tap tap….keep tapping until you feel better, be persistent; keep going; don’t give up, keep tapping until you know it’s no longer going to be a funk day! (This is a great way to develop the habit of tapping which is what I wrote about in the Stress Eraser blog. Remember statistically 21 days to develop a healthy habit.)

Your day may start out in a funk but it certainly doesn’t have to end that way NO WAY; Empower yourself; Do yourself a favour; Do your body good and TAP!

http://www.tappingawaytheblues.com/

Energy Tapping - The Stress Eraser!

“The Stress Eraser”

You have it right at your fingertips!

A great explanation for children “Think of it this way; the pencils are your fingers and the erasers are your fingertips; while we tap on certain points on the face and upper body (eyebrow point, under nose, collarbone and under arm to name a few) we actually erase the anger/nervousness/sadness etc.. we have at the time. How cool is that!”

Now let me try to explain it to the grown-ups! “Energy tapping involves stating the issue/problem/negative emotion, along with a positive statement about oneself and tapping on 10 – 14 meridian points on the upper body, face and hand while staying focused on the issue. It is as easy as it sounds.”

Remember the best way to get your children to develop the habit of tapping is to do it yourself; be the change you wish to see in your children! Take the time (2 minutes) every morning or evening (or both) to stop and tap with your child. Call it S.A.T. (Stop-And-Tap) and do it before or after they brush their teeth. Developing this habit will help balance out energy patterns and get rid of any “negative” feelings or emotions you or your child may be feeling (could be a dream or recent incident has triggered a negative disruption) why not clear it before it has a chance to grow!

The biggest deterrent I find people have to tapping is they feel like they don’t know what to say. For beginning a morning or evening routine try something as simple as the statements below. (you can replace the ‘kid’ with person/parent etc..)

Morning “Even though I’m really tired this morning, I’m a great kid and I’m going to have an awesome day!”

Evening “Even though I had a yuckie day (state why if you can), I’m a great kid and Love me for who I am”

You don’t have to state a negative if there isn’t one, but it’s still a good idea to tap , it will help with any obstacles or issues that may come up and it’s easier to develop a habit (remember they say it takes 21 days to develop a healthy habit!). Try these below as maintenence!

Morning “I’m in a good mood and am a great kid and am having an awesome day!”

Evening “I had an amazing day today and accept me for who I am, just the way I am!”

So don’t forget your daily S.A.T. and get ready to eradicate those negative blahs with your fingertip erasers!


GO here to see a kid-friendly picture of the tapping points
GO here to purchase ebook Tapping Away the Blues (for children up to the age of 12 & their parents)